It seems that while a large majority agrees that people should be honest most of the times, many of them also think that it is okay to lie in some of the very specific cases “if the situation demands it”. There are also some, who are of the opinion that it is okay as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, and a still smaller minority who think it would be okay if there is something to gain, and, finally, a minority that thinks it is okay as long as one can get away with it. I thought this subject is worth some serious discussion, since a large section of youth today, though educated and good at heart, think of truth and falsehood as more of a choice than as a matter of right or wrong.As stressed upon by almost all great thinkers of India, and reiterated by Mahatma Gandhi who also practically demonstrated its true power, truth is the core value that every individual should tenaciously hold on to in thought, word and deed, in any situation that he may find himself in. Even in the face of dire adversity, it is the power of truth that will open up the doors to success. Truth is the central pillar that supports every society that deserves to exist, and is also the foundation for personal happiness.

Let us first look at this social angle which is easier to understand. If telling a lie becomes acceptable, people will not have a way, at any time, to ascertain whether something someone tells them is true or not. As a result, people will stop trusting each other; and in the absence of mutual trust, relationships will become superficial at best, and most likely end in failure. People will become suspicious of each other, and eventually this deep-rooted suspicion will wreck the social machinery.

Even if we remove society from the picture and consider only the individual, telling lies will reduce the connect between his thoughts and words. The more he indulges in lying, the more his words will become empty shells devoid of meaning or conviction. Gradually, he’ll stop believing in himself and be engulfed in the confusion that arises from the irreconcilable differences between his thoughts and words. The strongest argument against telling a lie is not that it weakens the society, but that it weakens the spirit. Since there is nothing in this world that’s worth gaining at the cost of your spirit, there is no possibility of a scenario in which telling a lie would be a wise choice. So even by looking at it as purely a matter of choice, honesty is indeed the best policy.

Now let us analyze some of the fringe cases, in which even the majority might think it is okay to say a lie. There are usually two points that are raised in this context. Some say that in crisis situations, it is okay to lie because it is something that is referred to as “aapad dharma” (which roughly translates to crisis-time duty). An example brought out to support the case is that of a woman being chased by bad men running into a hay-stack as you are watching, and the bad men coming behind her questioning you about her whereabouts. Is it okay to lie in this case, to say that she went in some direction (to mislead them) or to say that you did not see any woman? Many might opine that it is not wrong to lie in such a situation because you are doing it to help a woman in danger. But to save that woman, you just have to tell them “I won’t tell the likes of you even if I knew which way she went”, and they might beat you up and go in some direction in search of her. In this case you would be able to save the woman without lying, and so the purpose of lying is not to save the woman, but to save your own skin. Those who defend such lies as crisis-time duty are only finding an excuse for their own cowardice. Legendary King Harischandra is perhaps a most striking ideal for how a person should hold on to the truth even in times of terrible crisis. Agreed, that it is not easy to be brave and honest, but it is definitely the right and noble thing to do. It is in such cases, that the power of ahimsa (roughly, non-violence) supplements and consummates that of truth, and becomes your most powerful ally.

Another, form of lying which many consider innocuous, is flattery. A friend of my brother’s reportedly says it is okay to lie while praising your wife. Everyone likes to tell her wife that she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, or that her curry is the most delicious, while it is clearly not possible for everyone to be speaking the truth. I will not consider it a lie if both the husband and wife implicitly understand and interpret this as the woman he finds the most beautiful, or the curry he finds the most delicious, AND if he really thinks so! But otherwise, this is also a lie, and while it may seem to be harmless and even beneficial to the relationship in the beginning, it is actually a time-bomb to which you constantly add explosive power each time a new false compliment is presented. Such praise, unless it comes from the bottom of your heart, and is true, will not create a significant impression in her heart. It will also deprive her of any chance to improve (especially in the context of cooking), and also remove the element of openness that would have added beauty to the relationship. But perhaps even worse is that such a thread of falsehood is not sustainable in so involved a relationship. At some time (may be when you’re not in the best of your mood and not crafty enough to invent complements) you’ll have to give her truthful and not-so-flattering comments. At such a time, all the praises you have showered on her will have a totally negative effect on how she reacts to your criticism. More than what you say then, the realization that all that you had been saying so far had been nothing but lies will be unbearably painful for her, and most likely it will be the beginning of end for the castle of cards you had been building.

If any of my readers can think of any other specific situation in which it is okay to lie, I would like to hear it as a comment on this blog so that I can respond with what I think would be the ideal course of action in that situation.

This post was originally written in response to a question on Quora on this subject